Storyblog: 2018

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Flat Out of Ideas

March 31: Before I start, you may see how I apply my favorite history lessons to the production of comedy, as I continue adding to my hypothetical talkshow, The New Don't Steal Show: Episode XVI. And Mike Myers may read about music that is over his head in my statement, Changing Times. April 4: And if I inadvertently rewrite any old propaganda parodies, I hope I am given the full benefit of the doubt as to their ownership.

Since World War Two, there hasn't been very much real technological progress. We have made quantitative advances, but their underlying science remains, more or less, unchanged. Almost all of our modern inventions, for example, depend on the one key invention of the Tesla coil to power them. Tesla, in this sense, single handedly brought us into the current age of computers.

Jets, rockets, mobile phones, and remote control devices all got their start in World War Two. And nuclear fission offered a new power source by the war's end. Nothing really new has come along since. Why?

I love this war documentary about Ultra. (See my comedy script: The Code Breakers of Stanley Park.) Ultra was the program to crack the 'unbreakable' German code in WW2. Machine encryption was thought by the Germans to be invulnerable, but they failed to consider the weaknesses presented by faulty human operators, as well as to imagine the quite human invention of a machine that could decipher their machine. Their Nazi anti-intellectualism would cost them dearly.

This idea of weaknesses existing by the operators of a system has me thinking of weakness of a copyright protection system if it were administered by such people as the hosts of Dateline. The greatest copyright protection system in the world can't save an artist if the operator is corrupt.

Oddball intellectuals, facing SS death squads, united to break the German code and to develop the atomic bomb. Einstein wrote a letter to Roosevelt, which led directly to the Manhattan Project. But what would have happened to Einstein if he had not escaped to Switzerland in 1933?

Had Einstein not escaped, he would have been gassed for being too old to work as a railroad labourer. God knows how many Einsteins and Teslas perished in the camps. Leading intellectuals were the first to go in every occupied country. They died by the train load. This may well explain the technological plateau leading from then to the present.

I: The Crowd

In the crowd were mountain movers, titans through and through
Kings and queens of vast domains and superheroes, too
In a bulging wave they went, erasing all along
Each one's slim position giving proof of being strong

Divvying the workload into manageable shares
Left them with enough time to devote to private cares
Following the path presented by the neighbour's lead
For direction's calculations spared them of the need

Summoned by the spectacle to gather into rows
Thence to cast off differences where nobody knows
Absolute euphoria would pass among the lot
Equally distributed from elderly to tot

Only when the sun would set, decreeing sleep's withdrawal
Splintered by their ranging dreams, their confidence would fall
Motionless, they fancied courses dangerous and bold
For as long as darkness let them stray outside the fold

In the crowd were plump faced children, running to and fro
Eagerest to voice their thoughts and let their feelings show
Always close to parents, though behaviour would display
Their desire to be loved by strangers faraway

All the world was well and good, as far as they could see
Lots of games for them to play and time for fantasy
Unaware of fatal sentence like a toothy shark
Standing by to swallow them and trap them in the dark

Scrambling to find their way home from the shopping sprees
Were the women - contours tucked in folds designed to please
More than half the world was theirs, with children on their side
Drinking brightly coloured lanes through eyes extended wide

Into tidy units interlocking as a whole
Did each man, with wife and offspring, see his vital role
Likeliest to look upon the bachelor forlorn
As a kind of heretic deserving only scorn

On the pedestal reserved for rulers high above
Showing virtue, said the sage, was how to procure love
Freeing up the people for a feral exercise
Neighbours bluntly trampled in the name of enterprise

Virtue could the wealthy rulers more afford to choose
Which they by their fortune's choice were just as soon to lose
Settling for images of decency's embrace
Forced upon submissive eyes through television's face

This made real integrity a thing to be destroyed
Certainly when manifesting in the unemployed
No chance for comparisons against a flimsy claim
Would be possible for those without a favoured name

So it was an ordinary father's sorry fate
To feed his dependents with a pirate's piece of eight
And let his superiors confuse his troubled mind
Until blind enough to be misguided by the blind

II: The Hermit

Perched upon a hilltop far from flattened avenue
Stood a simple cabin with a transcendental view
Occupied by he who had rejected life below
Ending up in isolation, scholarship to grow

Though brought up on common rites and taught to stand astride
From the great society he'd chosen since to hide
Grievously equipped with such a penetrating gaze
He detected tragic faults in finest fellows' ways

Keen to cultivate his mind, he studied all he could
Drawing from materials unpopular but good
As a vicious irony, he presently would find
Himself by detachment bonded fast to humankind

He could tell the hour by the angle of the sun
And his daily chores were always to the fullest done
No misgivings would await to taunt him at his end
Precious heartbeats more efficiently he could not spend

Sometimes by a special sight his memory would haunt
Of the time before and of the life he used to want
Such as when a pretty robin hopped up to his door
Certain to have pleased his bygone lover even more

She was sweet and simple from the consecrating farm
Floating over footfalls with a devastating charm
Curly locks unfolding like a masterpiece's frame
Rushes still upset him when they whispered out her name

He'd constructed lengthy odes to glorify her form
Passion bursting at the seams like thunder from a storm
Just for an untalented degenerate to steal
And to make a dirty lie from feelings felt for real

She succumbed to the deception, or so it appeared
Until came to light a truth too awful to be feared
Knowledge of enchanting verses torn from helpless heart
Had the woman kept her secret from the very start

First the pain of such a blow had set his anger loose
From committing murder was he safe as a recluse
With the passing seasons did his violence subside
Bitterness remaining in the wake of blood red tide

He resolved to not repeat the humbling mistake
Fuzzy dreams of fatherhood were better to forsake
Like a sturdy fortress were the bookshelves of his den
Fitted with a lens of telescopic acumen

Talent he could not suppress new works of beauty fed
Dedicated to a phantom in his lost love's stead
Hardly to be disappointed by the empty air
Or to find with highest hopes unfitting to compare

From his solitary station great his wisdom grew
As the portals opened and the muses past him flew
For solutions he had only to explore within
As his own competitor, he best professed to win

III: The Animals

In the lofty overgrowth the wild creatures flocked
Turning backs on lodges with their entrances unlocked
Families established by a unifying scent
Each of whose most prominent held stalls in parliament

A return to Eden was their elemental plan
This time wishing to escape the company of man
Contradicting instinct to assemble as a whole
By which they might expeditiously achieve their goal

They allowed the hermit to encroach upon their state
Knowing that he could not multiply without a mate
Kept as individuals the humans were humane
Not enveloped by their own, inclined to good remain

By the burning venom of a double talking asp
Generations of the upright had escaped God's grasp
As was evidenced by their remorseless legacy
Wielding lethal power in a fearsome tyranny

God intended all his children to be down to earth
And to cherish property of more than passing worth
Ever since the human forbears drifted so astray
It had been the animals who rightly led the way

Now the woodland citizens positioning to thwart
The expansion of a road that cut straight through their court
Hoped by such a bold display to herald a new age
Which might free their kindred from the exhibition's cage

Eagles made the perfect lookouts, vision sharp and clear
They detected enemies before they could get near
Sounding off a signal as though screeching out in pain
Beavers slapped responses passed to bears along the chain

The construction workers hacked away to no avail
Little to impel them but the progress of a snail
Until dynamite was turned to out of their despair
Sending great reverberations pulsing through the air

To reclaim their territory were dispatched the boars
Commonly reputed as the fiercest on all fours
But a gross miscalculation pitted brawn with steel
As the failure of their charge proceeded to reveal

Overseeing operations from a rugged loft
Marshall Owell probed for where the enemy was soft
And the influenza victim shortly made him wise
To a better soldier of immensely smaller size

So the flying bugs descended on the hapless crew
Having filled up at a pond infected by the flu
On a kamikaze crash course, bent on breaking skin
And on laying low Goliaths with a pricking pin

Harmony returned before the summer sun would set
On the field of battle had the men their matches met
Carried off on stretchers to the remedy receive
As the rodents lined the road to watch the engines leave

IV: The Psychopath

Profit making summarized the corporation's aim
Any cost effective method practiced without shame
Taking on the likeness of an evil entity
Human rights awarded to what human could not be

Founded by a poker shark a century before
It had swallowed up the landscape to extend its store
Public legislation bending to its private need
Tentacles extending to accommodate its greed

Paralyzing holdings bore a spiritual stain
As the good was compromised for monetary gain
Persons paid on its behalf would lend an honest face
Certain to divert the glare provoked by its disgrace

Honoring the decadence to which the flesh is prone
Furnished it the grandeur of a figure cut from stone
Yielding to the nature of a predatory beast
Put it in an attitude to feed the poor a feast

From her conscientious mother Suzie learned to weave
Taking to it at a rate ambitious to believe
To express her girlhood she found polka dots the best
For the slippers that she gave a sleeping over guest

Once the guest had put them on, she wanted them to keep
Asking Suzie on the morning following her sleep
She said that her toes could tell a good thing had been found
Of the product, promising to pass the word around

Suzie was delighted to comply with such a wish
Doubling her weaving in a rapture feverish
To her love's appreciation many testified
Until polka dots would cover carpets region wide

Sales of indoor footwear fell as her successes grew
Which for her competitor would certainly not do
It was bad for business to be handing out for free
Items that improved upon commercial quality

First the fiend intruded on her novel new design
Calibrating great machines to weave a weave more fine
And flood shelves with counterfeits to let her sales clerk state
Homemade handouts transgressed to the style imitate

Hurtful as this might have been to somebody so sweet
The successful child stood up firm against defeat
Imperfections lent her work a real old fashioned charm
Far beyond the means of a robotic metal arm

So the corporation did the girl's repute assault
Finding in her overhead a vague accounting fault
It was such a 'menace' to so flagrantly infract
Government authorities were called upon to act

Thus did little Suzie at the tender age of ten
Almost pass directly from the cradle to the pen
Notches counted up the days of her unhappy spell
For the crime of giving what the psychopath would sell

V: The Fire

Banners bearing the depiction of a gentle dove
Guided to the entrance of the Festival of Love
All the people gathered for the summertime event
Pleased to know that charity was where its money went

Long haired bands performed warm anthems, jangling away
Children sacrificed their rides to let the needy play
Neighbours set aside their feuds to tearfully embrace
Even dogs for cats put on a sympathetic face

Creditors forgave their debtors, young held hands with old
Teachers for the poorest grade refused to even scold
Politicians heeded voters, bosses thanked their staff
Businessmen who never smiled broke into a laugh

Women glided topless, wearing skirts of floral hue
Offering their kisses to the men who loved them true
Never more contagious was the spirit of good cheer
But perhaps for Yuletide at the closing of the year

The impressive schedule would brightly culminate
With the birthday of an orphan fit to celebrate
Portions of the current cake were cut and passed around
Heedless of a burning candle fallen on the ground

As the birthday music thundered to a jam packed stand
Fire first appeared as an illusion of the band
When the wise performers dropped their instruments and fled
Suddenly the calm collected mass misplaced its head

Straight towards the nearest exit in a heated rush
Did the former friends proceed to lagging neighbours crush
Terrorized by danger pushing out in flaming licks
Runners stooped to exercise the dirtiest of tricks

Children were compelled to make up for their smaller size
Clinging to the backs of brutes and clasping hands on eyes
Rendering dependent for directions through the dark
That they might be safely carried outside to the park

Women feigned distress to bring the men down to a slow
Then retreating from the spot, to front of throng would go
As the child bearers, they considered it their right
To escape a conflagration any way they might

Teachers fashioned torches with an appetite to learn
The persuasive power of a second layer burn
Elderly were swept aside and tossed into a pile
As the youth advanced in an inexorable file

Businessmen used sidearms a new passage out to scare
Politicians teleported to a secret lair
Dogs and cats went back to fighting, nothing left to lose
Helicopters capturing the mayhem for the news

No more birthdays for the orphan caught in the stampede
To get past his body had his consciousness been freed
So much for fraternity, the will to love and share
Up against survival it had never had a prayer

VI: The Ghost

In a search for lyrics that inspired him to sing
Did the hermit scan the archives of the great Sun King
Which alluded to a certain royal concubine
With an air depicted as more sparkling than wine

For her affectations had the king become so keen
Naturally she'd provoked the ire of the queen
Who'd engaged professionals to terminate the threat
Of a usurpation by the best contender yet

Earliest convenience for the practice of foul play
Surfaced at a tournament of championship croquet
With the bearing of his mallet foremost on his mind
To the lady's disappearance Louis would be blind

Someone slipped a grain of fatal poison in her snuff
For accomplishing its purpose one sniff was enough
Straightaway the corpse was transferred to an unmarked site
Priest prevented from administering the last rite

Terrified, the witnesses would whisper not a breath
To disclose the shameful truth about her sudden death
They said that she'd caught the plague en route to Albany
Whence her body was consigned to burial at sea

Disallowed the blessing of a priest, she lingered on
Though she'd hidden from the portal until it was gone
Knowing that she hadn't treated underlings so well
She feared that a punishment awaited her in hell

Centuries of drawing on the insights of a ghost
Gave her a clear reckoning of what she wanted most
Matter unto matter may exclusively belong
But she still could profit from a well constructed song

What the hermit fashioned from his solitary woe
Traveled out in waves for the invisible to know
By his secret tribute to the woman from the past
He'd been inadvertently into her clutches cast

Much as his song threatened to attract a living bride
She would make short work of any women who replied
Scaring them with warning cries or steering them astray
Causing them to items of significance mislay

As the common music lover's mood received a lift
To a state of melancholy he began to shift
With the spirit feeding on the impulse of his ache
Hoping that his will to live might for their pairing break

Sympathetic birds chirped out a sonorous refrain
Having means to compliment his elegant quatrain
Taking as an asset to the music of the wood
Bitter lamentations of a lonely hermithood

At such times he came to see his talent as a curse
Since it only ever made his situation worse
Sharpening his senses for a self directed knife
Driving him to daydreams of a better afterlife

VII: The Plane

Planners for the auto-route looked down upon their scheme
Modeled in the miniscule proportions of a dream
And exchanged suggestions of the way they should proceed
Through an area that was so obstinately treed

Having quite exhausted the conventional technique
Radical developers were called upon to speak
One of whom proposed a tactic wonderfully rare
That of an approach from the outflanking open air

Armed with deadly buckets of incendiary gas
An airplane could penetrate in one efficient pass
Work could then commence securely on the broken ground
With no breeding places for the insects left around

Gentlemen across the floor to this plan gave their ayes
And collaborated to at once it realize
They possessed a reservoir of strong defoliant
Wide enough for planes to scoop from like a cormorant

Most of the discussion had been closely overheard
By a vigilant and unobtrusive little bird
With a major staple of its diet under threat
It beat its small wings back home as fast as it could get

At a crucial conference with philosophic fowl
Did the spy intrude on an astonished Marshal Owell
Tweeting unreservedly the bulletin of dread
To the venerable senior military head

They could still be saved as long as time was not too short
By a raid of crack commandos engineered to thwart
Sabotage committed by the lustre of the moon
Would demand the technical finesse of a raccoon

Four were airdropped on the runway where the bomber sat
Just as all the lights were turned off, landing rather pat
Stealthily they crept towards their stationary mark
Whites of eyes protruding out from visors in the dark

Straight into the cockpit did the mission chief ascend
On the shoulders of the rest who stood watch to defend
Underneath the cover of the navigation board
Fingers went to work rerouting an important cord

With the panel to its former aspect reinstalled
Back into the forest were the brave raccoons recalled
Without confirmation it was difficult to guess
If their operation had resulted in success

Morning sun accompanied a loud propeller's drone
Which at first as panic struck the creatures to the bone
Up until it sharply veered away from slaughter's course
Back along a line in the direction of its source

Then at last the distant rising of a white hot plume
Let them know their enemy had met again with doom
Almost as impressive as the sun upon the sea
Was his reservoir of compounds incandescently

VIII: The Riot

In the prison workshop there were many skills to learn
To persuade an inmate to an honest living earn
And since Suzie's weaving basket had been seized away
An instructor showed her how to spin a pot from clay

From the very outset she was able to produce
Apple shaped containers for her pomegranate juice
Straying from example to let manifest her flair
In the composition of some bold new tableware

Pepper shakers looked like mushrooms, mugs resembled stumps
Sugar bowls had hearts on them to measure out the lumps
Plates were turned to lily-pads refreshingly askew
As the master potter made her dazzling debut

This appeared for her to be a favourable turn
Keeping her from weaving was the warden's main concern
And her spirit, with her hands upon the spinning wheel
Was as lifted as her weaving ever made her feel

Suzie's next-door neighbour at the penitentiary
Had just spent an interval at the infirmary
None of the receptacles in which they served his food
Had a healthy impact on his miserable mood

She gave him a special mug to welcome him back home
Lidded with a happy face that bulged out like a dome
It was perfect to reduce the swelling in his jaw
Helping him to smile and to stabilize his straw

At the cafeteria the man exposed his prize
Of whose acquisition brought his peers to fantasize
Flooding his young benefactor with acute requests
For the kind of cup that they could show off to their guests

By this time her wares were piled over three shelves high
From which it was possible to ev'ryone supply
Trays of prison food received a total overhaul
Seen as an improvement by consumers, overall

Then a lazy dishwasher resentfully complained
Of how ill placed pockets caused his fingers to be strained
Suzie's crazy cups were more than regimen could stand
And were duly deemed as a kaolin contraband

This was answered by a grumble clear from cell to cell
As is heard from those about to openly rebel
Sure enough, the first inspection to impound the barred
Finished with a hostage taking and an injured guard

Fueled by the victory, an all-out riot spread
By a group of Suzie's most devoted patrons led
After the negotiator heard the captives' case
He repeated what they told him to the warden's face

The reviled order would be put into reverse
To prevent the situation from becoming worse
And with ending threats of further outbreaks as the goal
Suzie was accepted for immediate parole

IX: The Host

On the AM dial for the motorists to tune
Was a program broadcast through the weekday afternoon
Styled as a talk show of contemporary fare
Hosted by the most compelling presence on the air

A religious firebrand evocative of speech
Able to believers in remotest corners reach
He was always looking for another ear to bend
Certain that the world would soon be coming to an end

Prophecy's professor and astrology's adept
Influenced profoundly the direction that he stepped
And the latest breakthroughs at deciphering the code
Were among the items that he regularly showed

The abrupt appearance of a comet in the night
Brought his doomsday apprehensions to a newfound height
Through the mighty dishes would his panic multiply
Intercepted by antennas his address to spy

As malignant 'Wormwood' of Apocalyptic fame
Did the preacher take to be the interloper's name
Soon to follow would the great calamities begin
And the execution of the penalty for sin

Traffic turned to chaos on the cluttered thoroughfare
Lifelong wishes to fulfill without a bit to spare
While the survivalists aversion to the grave
Drove them as a flock to take their chances in the cave

Trading on the stock exchange unfathomably fell
Values of commodities impossible to tell
Only in their churches did the population trust
Waiting tensely for the world to crumble into dust

Scientists attempted to anxieties allay
With a calculation to predict a path away
Then the object unexpectedly adjusted course
Hurtling towards the earth with terrifying force

For the inexplicable and eerie fireball
Wasn't just a comet or a shooting star at all
But a vessel from a distant heavenly domain
With an army vast enough to flood the Terran plain

Humans had possessed the earth for longer than was due
Now the time had come for the command of someone new
Natural prosperity had only gone to waste
On a race of troglodytes afflicted with bad taste

Fit for heavy labour in Utopia's ascent
Would they abdicate to an unearthly government
Rational enough to undertake what they are told
Would they aptest excavate great quantities of gold

Slowing to a halt above the urban scenery
Helped restore the frightened to their past serenity
Fiery apocalypse was not upon them yet
Outcomes undecided and too soon on which to bet

X: The Weapon

Overlooking happenings from safe atop his peak
For a fast solution the recluse began to seek
To repel this enemy in one decisive blow
He was just about prepared at any lengths to go

Still remaining in his den from his most bitter days
Was a weapon great enough the mighty craft to raze
One that on humanity he'd since declined to use
Now without a better choice, he reinstalled its fuse

It rose to its purpose with a disconcerting hum
To the angle that would bring its range to maximum
He would need to redirect its eager blinking tip
At the points of weakness it detected in the ship

Had the world's armadas all at once severely struck
Up against the heavy hull they would have had no luck
Only from the trials of his isolated past
Had destructive power ever grown to such a blast

At his side, his grim admirer gathered up the scene
For the moment, she'd allow him leave to intervene
As a spirit, she knew she would make the perfect spy
So towards the target did she dutifully fly

She attempted access through the tiles in the roof
But the strange material was somehow spirit-proof
Up and down she tramped in fury, making not a sound
Breaking through a layer weakened by incoming round

Unseen by the aliens, she surveyed for a clue
As to where her escapades would the most damage do
Following the arrows to their energy array
Where she brought her talents into devastating play

The explosion caused a great disruption in the field
That effectively had acted as their outer shield
Pouncing on the opening, the great gun sharply spit
And won recognition with a penetrating hit

Loss of levitation brought a deep resounding thud
As the vessel sunk just like a bottle in the mud
Its resources were diverted quickly to subdue
That which unbelievably had overwhelmed its crew

Lashing out in desperation, they returned the shot
Vaporizing the offending weapon on the spot
Now their operation would depart from what was planned
As to travel overland was given the command

Stricken, their leviathan extended metal jaws
Out through which poured legions to continue on their cause
Mechanized beyond our means to readily repel
Like a fog upon the scape, their ranks began to swell

Powerless against the host, the ghost to man returned
And was pleased to see that her beloved had not burned
Any more resistance seemed unlikely to arise
Conquest by celestial foe a fact to realize

XI: The Planet:

Most adjoining wildlands had fallen to a hush
Laying bare the rustle of the breeze upon the rush
Not by any order or official bulletin
But by a survival program, guiding from within

Ever since the space intruders touched the atmosphere
Continental counter moves had gone into high gear
By the planet an infection had been clearly sensed
Which its forces were inclined to all align against

Though the animals knew not for whom they lay in wait
Any foe on less than fours was fit for them to hate
Now that man's intentions had been pushed into reverse
Confidence was high enough to face a threat much worse

Mother Nature had arisen to assume control
Her instructions felt across the ecosystem whole
Animal and element, responding each in turn
On a common mission to sustain a solid spurn

Absolutely quiet and uncomfortably still
Acting in accordance with the planetary will
As the sky began to darken, creatures braced for rain
Organized to hurl itself against the wayward train

Presently a vicious tempest cast its gusty net
Catching flyers by the fleet, with no escape route let
As a deluge fell upon the vehicles below
Wheels completely pointless in the paralyzing flow

Balls of electricity converged in brutal course
Overloading circuit boards and sapping out their source
By the time the elements had finished with their mark
Its machine dependents had been thrust into the dark

Then emerged from countless broken boxes on the beach
Figures guaranteed to make a growler want to screech
Choosing only two legs had been by the baddest done
But these upstarts dared to hop about on only one

Snakes were first to take advantage, springing in a coil
Tripping skippers in mid-step to crash down on the soil
Elks commenced to bulldoze, with their antlers' paths to shave
On the way to seal the captives soundly in a cave

Porcupines adroitly infiltrated from behind
Or at least as those who tried to sit were sure to find
Albatrosses bombed with boulders, insects put up flak
The entire population joined in the attack

With the column decimated, victory led on
For as long as it still moved, the menace was not gone
Pressing in from all around to motion all but cease
Beast was almost ready to believe he'd won the peace

Suddenly a fierce eruption rose up in their core
And a holdout stood before them, 25-foot-4
In its tentacle it held a powerful device
In its eye the look of one who's through with being nice

TO BE CONTINUED

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